The Notepod

Podcasts, videos, and iPad art

Relationships are all that matter (this is both good and bad)

Check out the full notes for “Plays Well With Others” by Eric Barker

The header image is a bunch of Eric Barker’s previous book—but I’m talking about his current book. It’s like those mind bender things where green text says “RED” and it’s impossible to read.

Anyway, that picture is from 5 years ago when I went big for the pre-order bonus to chat with him for 30 minutes and he graciously went for an hour. I probably have handwritten notes somewhere but otherwise was in some kind of starstruck state and can’t remember specifics.

In any case, I was excited to see his new book come out this week and thought I’d get back to writing notes as I read through books.

(I also just finished Chuck Klosterman’s “The Nineties” so I’ll get to doing some book notes on his book soon as well.)

First reminder from Barker’s book: relationships are all that matter.

From “Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong”:

Yet when George Vaillant, who led the study for much of his own life, was asked what he learned from decades of studying these men, he replied with one sentence: That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.

In the same way that you can map your current desires back to some other person’s (your parents’ first, then your friends’) desires, you can map your problems to different relationships in your life. You’re letting someone down. They’re letting you down.

The upside: you can map most of your happiness to different relationships in your life.

From “The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness”

PHILOSOPHER: As I have been saying all along, Adlerian psychology has the view that all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. Interpersonal relations are the source of unhappiness. And the opposite can be said, too—interpersonal relations are the source of happiness.

Looking forward to reading the rest of “Plays Well with Others” so that I can make friends with people who aren’t old, wisened Aldlerian philosophers.

Some thoughts on the J.O.T. method (with Apple Notes and an iPad Pro)

I’m slowly feeling a bit more productive day to day.

I’ve gone back to the J.O.T. method from “The More You Do The Better You Feel: How to Overcome Procrastination and Live a Happier Life” by David Parker.

It’s dead simple: write the next thing you plan to do, then do it.

It feels a little like taking that to-do list advice of writing some easy things or some things you’ve already completed to get the momentum going.

I’ve gotten to where I’m writing things like “go grab coffee”. And it’s not a Starbucks run, it’s that 1 minute trip to the kitchen to pour iced coffee from the fridge into a glass.

Then I’ll come back and write “open Docs” and then open Docs and then the next thing on my J.O.T. list is “write for 10 minutes”.

It’s really that granular. I understand how it sounds as I’m describing it. But it feels like it’s working.

By the end of a few hours doing this, there’s some satisfaction in seeing that I, in fact, did… something.

Some guesses to why it works:

  • You’re checking in frequently so you’re building awareness of where your time is going and you can steer back on course if you’re going on course
  • You’re getting tiny tiny bursts of motivation because it’s satisfying to cross things out
  • You can write really really easy things down so you can get a few layups (see the ball go through the hoop and all that) between tackling bigger things

It’s harder to have an unproductive day if you’re able to make the effort of writing everything you’re doing down.

I’ve been doing this on my iPad with Apple Notes:

J.O.T. method with iPad Pro

It definitely reduces clutter and having stale Post-Its all over my desk and then finding them on the floor here and there or in my pocket.

I set the iPad display sleep timer to 15 minutes, the largest increment before infinite. I’ve tried infinite before and would usually just forget I had it on without having it plugged in at some point and would come back to a dead iPad on most days.

15 minutes is good because I’ll usually write things down that are shorter than 15 minutes.

Apple Notes is just the most convenient app to write with on an iPad and sync is rock solid. (It’s always had great feeling pen/pencil tools.) It also feels like using a legal pad vs. being precious with GoodNotes/Procreate/Notability/etc. where it feels like using a precious precious Moleskine page or something like that.

The GoodNotes/Notability notebook paradigm is a bit heavy for this J.O.T. use case. Procreate has flat files but I’ll tinker way too much with pens and canvas size.

For now, Apple Notes just works.

At some point I’ll graduate back to a more sophisticated task management system.

For now, J.O.T. just works.

Ramblings: New drawers but the same old stuff

The office continues to come together. I got the IKEA Alex drawers, which I’m late too and if you’ve watched some number of office setup (or makeup setup) videos, you might be rolling your eyes at these. Everyone seemed to have them.

Anyway, I added these drawers and added the bookshelf a couple weeks ago and the sofa a week before that. And each time the feeling grows stronger: I just have too much stuff.

I don’t need to tidy up, I need to declutter.

“GET RID OF YOUR STUFF” is my favorite chapter name in all of Ryan Holiday’s books. (Mostly because it’s the only one I could name from memory.)

Stillness is the Key: Get Rid of Your Stuff

From “Stillness is the Key”:

There is also what we can term “comfort creep.” We get so used to a certain level of convenience and luxury that it becomes almost inconceivable that we used to live without it. As wealth grows, so does our sense of “normal.” But just a few years ago we were fine without this bounty. We had no problem eating ramen or squeezing into a small apartment. But now that we have more, our mind begins to lie to us.

If I learned anything living in New York, it was to be okay living in a smaller place. I thought I’d carry that lesson with me for the rest of my life. But 2 years since moving, I can see the sum of all that comfort creep.

I love having the office. All the miscellaneous stuff jammed in it, though?… I’ll stuff some of it in a bag tomorrow and get it out of the house.

Ramblings: Some recent fitness listens

I’ve been getting back into the swing of things when listening to podcasts.

Jason & Lauren Pak started their Reasonably Fit podcast. I’ve been following them on Instagram (@jasonandlaurenpak) for a bit now and enjoy their, well, reasonable approach in a sea of fitness influencers. (I’m also a fan of the opposite end of the spectrum with people that look like G.I. Joe characters.)

Main takeaway after binging on a few episodes: “It depends” is the only thing that always applies.

People’s perspectives on fitness and nutrition get shaped very very early in life. Media portrayals skew things. Social media takes those skewed things and layer an illusion that they’re achievable.

I know I won’t look like The Rock but mayyyyybe I can look like this dude on IG…

Jason & Lauren understand different triggers and are very deliberate about how they spread their message. They rarely do before/after shots of clients, because someone’s “after” win should not be lowered because it’s someone else’s “before”.

Anyway, I mentioned earlier this month that I’m trying to shift my information diet away from financial things and more toward health things. Reasonably Fit is definitely a step in the right direction.

As for the photo in the header of this post, I got a Rogue Jammer pull-up bar to go above the door. The theme this month has been trips to Home Depot, and another one is due tomorrow because I didn’t have the proper socket for my drill to put the bar into the wall.

Chin-ups coming soon…

Ramblings: Intensity and other things

Sometimes it seems like the only thing that matters for me when it comes to actually publishing anything is to write in the editor. So I’m back in MarsEdit writing this post and also back on the treadmill after a few days leaving it idling.

I’ll try this combination:

  • MarsEdit for writing to the blog
  • RH Timer for keeping a timer on the screen
  • Roam Research for some book highlights

First up, from “Sicker in the Head” by Judd Apatow — he asks Amber Ruffin about her time practicing comedy in Amsterdam.

Amber: Almost everyone was there for two years.

Judd: That’s so long. Do you get better at what you do in that environment?

Amber: You become untouchable when it comes to writing, but it’s a lot of short-form comedy. That’s not everyone’s favorite form, but that’s all you need, fundamentally. All I need to do is be able to come up with a punch line under pressure; that’s all any comedy is. So, once you are doing nine, ten, eleven shows a week over there, you are sharpened by the audience. One time, I was performing for three hundred Italian sailors, and English was their third language. I realized if I could get them to laugh, then I can do anything. An experience like that knocks the fear right out.

I’m a sucker for any description of work intensity. In practice, though, I’ve leaned more toward trying to avoid burnout. Which is probably why they have successful comedy careers and I’m writing in MarsEdit on a treadmill.

Anyway, I’m enjoying “Sicker in the Head” and still crack open “Sick in the Head” here and there to re-read some wisdom from comedians.

Let’s see if I can find another “here’s a time I worked very hard” quote from a book…

Okay there’s that Arnold Schwarzenegger one about squatting in the forest.

So once a week I took a training partner and drove out into the country with the weights. We limited ourselves to one exercise for a particular body part.

I remember for the first day we carried 250 pounds out into the forest and did squats for three hours straight. I began by doing twenty repetitions with 250 pounds; then my partner did whatever he could. Then it was my turn again.

We ended up doing something like fifty-five sets of squats each.

The last hour seemed endless. But it worked. Our thighs pumped up like balloons.

That first day we gave our thigh muscles such a shock that we couldn’t walk right for a week. We barely could crawl. Our legs had never experienced anything as tough as those fifty-five sets.

He goes pretty hard. Again, I’m a sucker for any description of workout intensity. And, again, I’m writing this on a treadmill.

But I did get some kettlebell work in right before this.

Some wisdom from Dan John:

I have said the following about 10,000 times: Everything works. Everything works for about six weeks. In 10 years, there are a lot of “six weeks”.

So now I’ll be on six weeks of daily kettlebells, walking, and pull-ups. And mix in weekly running at the track.

Ramblings: The gym is coming along slowly

I wanted to get the home gym going as soon as possible, but it is currently a mountain of cardboard. I want to keep the paper moving on it though otherwise I could see it being in a 5% state for forever.

It took me a bit of time to draw a plan and figure out that 6 4’x6’ horse stall mats can be a 12×12 square. Yes, it probably shouldn’t have taken me like 20 minutes of sketching to figure that out.

Anyway, then I’ll just need 4 sheets of 4’x8’ plywood to set the plywood up properly and there will still be an un-wooded corner. I can live with that, at least in the short term.

I’m hoping all the posts from this week will provide a nice “before” set of things as I write about this garage gym build and eventually make a series of overwhelmingly popular videos.

In the meantime, I’ve been working out with kettlebells either outside or in the garage. My portable courage corner.

I’ve been enjoying the AM outdoor workouts more than I expected. I put the stall mats out on our patio to air out the rubber tire shop smell, but now I’m considering keeping a couple out there all the time to keep outdoor workouts in the regular routine.

I’m trying to emphasize getting the workouts in even when the conditions aren’t perfect. And now I’m starting to see that I definitely don’t need a garage gym with a power rack and other equipment. It’ll be nice and I’m still planning on doing it.

But these workouts have been great and are reminding me of why I was so interested in kettlebells a few years ago. I just feel better when I’m working with kettlebells regularly.

From “Simple & Sinister”:

Another vital reason to keep the rep count low, per set and per training session, is to leave enough energy for other things—practicing sport skills, being ready to fulfill your duty on the battlefield or just enjoying your day and not dragging your tail through it.

Get the reps in. After years of using (or, not using) pull-up bars that hang on door hinges, I’ve finally ordered one that requires an actual drill to install. My days of searching Amazon with “no drill required” are over.

Once I mount that thing in the office, I’ll have a pretty good grease-the-groove setup: pull-ups on the bar, walking on the treadmill, and enough open space in the office to do some bodyweight or kettlebell work.

When I want to go heavy, I’ll have to walk over through the kitchen into the garage.

Can’t wait.